Saturday Predictions

Last night, Mississippi State and South Carolina gave us pretty much what you would expect: a defensive struggle, poor offensive play, with the only touchdown coming on a Spurrier “fuck-it-nothing-else-is-working-let’s-toss-this-in” trick play. But that’s what happens when you decide to open the season with a conference game.

I recall the observation someone made last night that Mississippi State is little more than a glorified Beach , particularly on offense. And considering that Sly Croom and Ulysses Hawthorne also appear to have been separated at birth, needless to say, I really enjoyed that comparison.



Anyway, to kill time between now and tomorrow’s kickoff, I’ll offer up my totally uninformed analysis of some of tomorrow’s most intriguing games.

Vanderbilt @ Michigan - Sure, it’s the season opener, I think Vanderbilt has an infinitely better coach, and I’m not sure if a Lloyd Carr team is even capable of scoring the 26 points needed to cover the spread, but you should still expect to see Statesboro’s own David Cone performing mop up duty late in the fourth quarter.
Michigan - 34, Vandy - 10.



Western Kentucky @ Georgia - The Bulldogs give up a touchdown early, Coutu boots three field goals, and three quarterbacks play (but not Stafford).
Georgia - 37, WKU - 7

California @ Tennessee - I picked the Golden Bears to play for the national championship, but I still have them losing at Neyland. Chalk this one up to a gut feeling, as much as I hate to base a prediction on something so ridiculous. Or maybe I’ve convinced myself that David Cutcliffe has magic powers.
Tennessee - 24, Cal - 21

Washington State @ Auburn - This one makes me nervous. Judging by the way Auburn has started the past few seasons, you would expect this one to be close into the fourth quarter. But I don’t think Wazzu can stop Auburn, and Will Muschamp is another coordinator hiring I’m absolutely in love with.
Auburn - 38, Wazzu - 13

Southern Cal @ Arkansas - The rumors are swirling. McFadden may play, as I’ve suspected all along. The lift that team, and crowd, will get if #5 comes running out of that tunnel could be enough to keep them in it. But, USC should survive a tough opener (and cover) purely because the talent gap is so great.
Southern California - 35, Arkansas - 17



Florida State @ Miami - If you’ve suffered through countless replays of the CSS “classics” these two have played the past two seasons, there’s probably no reason to bother watching this. The over/under for total sacks is 12, for special teams miscues is 3, and total NFL draft picks on the field is 50.
Miami - 13, Florida State - 7

And finally, the one we're all waiting for:

Notre Dame @ Georgia Tech - I’ve gone back and forth on this one more times than I can count over the last six or seven months.

On the one hand, Georgia Tech, as we all know, has beaten some highly touted opponents in the Gailey era; their defense is always stellar under Tenuta; they will have the best player on the field (and probably the country); if not hot, it will at least be damn muggy; and, of course, Notre Dame is incredibly overrated.

But on the other, the Jackets will have Kenny Scott and a bunch of Korean grad students from the bioengineering lab trying to defend the Notre Dame passing game. And, judging by the few interviews I’ve read, Patrick Nix appears to be Chan Gailey v 2.0. They also have Reggie Ball under center.



All that being said, Georgia Tech should stay within a possession all night. Whether that’s because the Irish are rusty or Tech remembers that Calvin Johnson is a little better than, say, Kelly Campbell, I don’t know.

But I do think Tech’s thin secondary will let them down in the end. I also know that Jon Tenuta will continue to bring the house while Weis is screening and slanting them to death. So, I have Notre Dame winning, with GT finding some bizarre way to keep it interesting.

We’ll see if fish and whiskey bottles once again rain down upon the Irish from the stands at Historic Grant Field. I hear those Hindus really hate Catholicism.
Notre Dame - 28, Georgia Tech - 24